I think i'm in love with you. It's almost destroying knowing that the feeling isn't mutual. The memories are too much for me to forget. 8 months later & i'm still thinking about you... all the time. It's crazy. Being in love is the only explanation I can think of as to why you're still in my head after all this time.
I miss your face. Your smell, your guitar, your dirty boyish charm, the way you say certain words, your lustful state, the way you held back & refrained from telling me how you really felt.
I know you never meant to hurt me, but you did. We went further than intended, didn't we?
You were my escape. My escape from everything. When I was with you nothing else existed. We were almost stuck in time.
Then it happened, didn't it ? You found her and you lost me, on purpose. You threw me out of your head and replaced me with her.
You handed me back my very own heart and under inspection it was bruised and hurt. I don't know how to look after it so now it's breaking. I don't know what to do to fix it.
I've tried to feel the same about others as I felt about you. But I can't. No one seems to compare to you. Not even the ones who are perfectly matched to me.
I hate this feeling.
So I cut you out of my life.
Just like that. You're gone.
And now there's some kind of cliquéd empty space.
But at the same time, it's sort of makes things easier.
Maybe now I can get some of that 'closure' that strong people speak of.
See you've made me realise I'm not a strong person like I thought I was.
I suppose I'd best thank you for giving me the best time of my life, so far.
I'm still young & I hope I find you again in the form of some other beautiful being.
Love, regret & spite,